Determined not to allow austerity to ruin Christmas, crowds flocked from far and wide tonight to gather in The Sensible Garden to see what had been (quite accurately) described as “a dead dog switching on imaginary Christmas lights.”
As the appointed hour approached the good people of South Norwood gathered in eager anticipation, excitedly awaiting the moment when Pickles, the hero of England’s World Cup win would throw the switch that would see SE25 bathed in the glow of imaginary lights. Unable to restrain themselves they started the countdown. Pickles, aided and abetted by General Cooper of the Intergalactic Fleet did the deed to a chorus of oohs and ahhs from the delighted crowds.
It is rumoured that the glow from the imaginary lights was seen by Tim Peake on the International Space Station.
Once again we have witnessed the calibre of the people of South Norwood,” said a spokesman for the South Norwood Tourist Board, “They may cut our budgets but they cannot cut the creative spirit of South Norwood. All power to the imagination!”