South Norwood Tourist Board

It is rumoured that ‘BREXIT’ have tried to contact SNTB in order for us to act as strategic consultants to give the voting public the reassurance they need to secure a victory. A poll, somewhere at sometime, within the error of margin similar to the exit polls of the last election, has confirmed that the electorate need to be comfortable with the dawning reality that what they are being asked to decide on it actually quite a complex issue. Without several years of learning the intricacies of economics; macro & micro, FIAT currency issues and how currency is completely different to money, contract law, employment law, legislative process / stages of implementing European law, just to name a few areas of expertise required, even then, with a complete, comprehensive, detailed understanding, when asked about potential implications for either possibility, they lick there finger to find out which way the wind is blowing; both choices can be seen as a pig in a poke.

This could be one of the reasons why they have decided to contact us; our insight and our colourful discourse without any fear of continually using words that others believe shouldn’t be used.

Another, more probable reason, is due to an academic paper that was published following our Independence election last year, and the birth of the ‘ People’s Republic of South Norwood’. The Adam Smith Institute has thoroughly documented the difficult decisions we have had to make to keep South Norwood as a shining working example that the only real way a community can move forward is by rejecting the never ending supply of Stepford politicians and the accompanying electoral system, which inherently favours the wealthy and is adverse to change of any kind, and whoever is in power understands that there is only one overriding objective within politics, and that is to remain in power by hook or by crook.

The Adam Smith Institute’s Published Report

How did we find answers to such complex issues highlighted in the report you may ask; it was simple really, we imagined an SNTB that were far cleverer than we are and then thought about the solutions they would design to resolve any issue or conflict. Our consultation methods must have been leaked by someone, detailing the simplicity, speed and a budget which depends on the prices of beer in our office, which we have affectionately given the more informal name ‘pub’.

Once SNTB have something more concrete than pure speculation* we will immediately post the details of any discussions held and who with.

*Rumour based on the fact we had a missed call from an unknown number, and have justified our logic based on a combination of Schrödinger’s Cat and logic by exploring the possibility that it could have been one of the many skills that some, or even none, of the investigative journalists applied to a story, ensuring they would get the ‘exclusives’ for the front page of the News of the World.

DISCLAIMER: SNTB take no responsibility for any misleading information in this article and any link to anything that may, or may not, happen in the coming week, is purely coincidental or desperation.