So Pardew was sacked for introducing a front foot, elaborate gun ho style that just didn’t suit Palace, so where else to start than looking at SNTB’s credentials
However our template for success is promising but I think a little ahead of its time:
- Co-operative Management style with SNTB being simply the front for all Eagles Fans
- Tickets prices halved and kids go free (we would forgo our wage to cover this), and players could hold a jumble sale or car wash to raise any shortfall.
- Team selection discussed in pub night before; consultation will include all season ticket holders who have won the premiership with Crystal Palace on Football Manager 2017 (whatever qualifications do you need) and the current Palace Squad – team and fans both being acceptable for our progress.
- Tactics are simply score more goals than the other team – rush goalie will be our secret weapon. (Is this any worse than a long ball tactic!)
- Substitutions, tactical change mid game decided by fans on a specially designed app.
- All transfers conducted by creating a player mortgage – (can bailiffs repossessed a player!). Or challenge other teams to a game of spoof, dominoes or rock, paper, scissors, with a win meaning you get to loan one of their players for a month for free – Messi at Selhurst Park!
- Dress down days for one game a quarter where the players can wear what they want with a 5% donation to fans who are financially struggling but remain loyal. It would also confuse the opposition and hopefully guarantee 3 points.
After a long night soul searching as to work out if SNTB could guide Palace to the heights they belong, we came to the conclusion it may not be in the best interests of the club, why you ask?
No, ignore the rumours that we were caught in the pub offering to sell an undercover reporter Wayne Hennessy’s left kidney but it was rumoured that the FA were worried that we would bring the game back to the working man and their local area, where fan and player constantly rubbed shoulders and would discuss topical current footballing issues such as Jamie Vardy’s chances of winning the Nobel Peace prize etc
Lets just hope whoever takes over has the clubs best interests at heart.