South Norwood Tourist Board

Today Croydon councillors will recommend a “rescue plan” like so many Aztec priests planning mass sacrifice to placate the Gods of neo-liberalism. Our Labour leaders have been largely silent, only speaking to defend the evisceration of the borough. Their Tory opponents have laughed maniacally at the mounting suffering, seeking to obscure their part in its creation.

The thing is, when leaders talk about “sacrifices” it is always someone else who has to be sacrificed; someone else’s job, someone else’s family, someone else’s home. When they tell us they have to make “hard choices” it is always someone else who faces hardship. When they say we have to be “realistic” they make clear that they do not, and have never, understood the reality of our lives. This needs to change. No more will we allow these failing necromancers to balance their magic books on the backs of the dead.

To that end on 21^st December South Norwood Tourist Board will be sacrificing Croydon Council to the Gods, so that the sun may once again rise on our benighted borough. Croydon Council will be represented by a Dog Waste bin – the inevitable result of their slavering feeding frenzy. They will be accompanied by rat masked acolytes, representing the only creatures that will benefit from further budget cuts – and the human rats who gnaw on the bones of our citizens, their bodies fat with inflated salaries, while our loved ones starve.

Our message to Croydon Council, our MPs, our Mayor and our Prime Minister is this,

“Enough! We will not be sacrificed as pawns in your political games. Fund the borough properly. Give us the services we are entitled to. This crisis is not of our making. We will not be made to pay for it!”