Determined not to allow austerity to ruin Christmas, crowds flocked from far and wide tonight to gather in The Sensible Garden to see what had been (quite accurately) described as “a dead dog switching on imaginary Christmas lights.”
As the appointed hour approached the good people of South Norwood gathered in eager anticipation, excitedly awaiting the moment when Pickles, the hero of England’s World Cup win would throw the switch that would see SE25 bathed in the glow of imaginary lights. Unable to restrain themselves they started the countdown. Pickles, aided and abetted by General Cooper of the Intergalactic Fleet did the deed to a chorus of oohs and ahhs from the delighted crowds.
It is rumoured that the glow from the imaginary lights was seen by Tim Peake on the International Space Station.
Once again we have witnessed the calibre of the people of South Norwood,” said a spokesman for the South Norwood Tourist Board, “They may cut our budgets but they cannot cut the creative spirit of South Norwood. All power to the imagination!”
How much did we spend in order to illuminate our beloved area at Christmas Time.
As much as you can imagine.
7pm at the Sensible Garden, be prepared with the oo’s and argh’s at the brilliance in your own mind.
Yes, only hours away until the whole world will marvel at our imaginary lights. Come and watch as the wonder of the display will enter folklore; more prestigious than the Emperors New Clothes.
We of South Norwood always rise to the top, even in adversity, making us the best place to live in London.
After the extravaganza SNTB invite everyone to the Albert for beer, and the first imaginary round is on us!
Due to popular demand we have created our own Christmas Card, based on a popular design. A limited number on sale at Treasures gift shop now.
South Norwood folk have been saddened at the lack of xmas lights illuminating our wonderful community this year – especially as papers are full of switch ons elsewhere. Is it due to austerity and all the cuts or simply old Ebenezer Scrooge casting his ‘Bah Humbug’ far and wide.
So yet again, SNTB have stepped in to save the day.
SNTB announces that local canine hero PICKLES will turn on a completely IMAGINARY SET OF LIGHTS at the SENSIBLE GARDEN on Wednesday December 16th at 7pm
These will be the first time in history a set of imaginary xmas lights have been turned on by a dog. We expect big crowds to flock in from far and wide.
Many people have scoffed at our bid to change the name of Norwood Junction
……it has even been claimed that South Norwood has now become the laughing sock of London (I’m not quite sure the link between this, our proposed station name, and the amount of money wasted on the consultation NOT to rename East Croydon Station)…anyway I digress………..
so we are supporting SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence), and assisting in the analysis of data for the many projects run at Berkley USA, in a hope when communication is made SNTB will be fist to roll out th red carpet at out station.
What is SETI@home?
SETI@home is a scientific experiment that uses Internet-connected computers in the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI). You can participate by running a free program that downloads and analyzes radio telescope data.
The truth is out there.